drowning

i was sitting by the window in one of the wards in the hospital today, i observed the movement of the clouds, the weather. and i ended up writing how i felt in this poem.

tatkala di sisi tingkap,
awan kelihatan putih
dibelakangi biru,
ia mendung,
ia cerah,
demi perubahan menurut angin.

adakah cinta juga demikian?
mendung dan cerah,
berselang-seli.
pasang dan surut,
berselang-seli.
tiada yang cerah
buat selama-lamanya,
masih tercari-cari
masih menantikan,
saat itu - cerah selama-lamanya.

at the every moment, i felt, relationship is just like the weather. there's always a sunny time, and rainy time. why is it not always sunny?

why?

when things already look so bad, and things are getting out of hands. i am alone, what can i do?
i still have to act strong, going through the heavy rain that blurred my vision just to prove people that they are wrong. i am supposed to live this life for myself and only myself.. but it seem like, life is all about satisfying people, pleasing them, trying to make yourself look good.

help.