friendship?

"I guess when certain things are said, we cannot take it back.

Also, when certain things are done, we cannot just ignore it and move on."

That's a friendship, I guess? Although people always say, 'forgive and forget'.

Some things in life, its easier said than done, I know that very well. Its not that I don't care about it, its just I don't know what I can do about it. I used to believe, if I don't need you in my life in order to keep me going, I don't mind losing you, because you are just a friend. Trust me, that would mean nothing, and I won't even bother to get upset. But, that is a belief I guess, because it didn't work; didn't work well although I have tried convincing myself.

Give me more time. I shall.. try my best to get you out of my sight, my everything, for the hurt that I once gotten, and left me a scar.

Life goes on, whether it is sweet or sour.

Its been 78 hours, and it felt like forever! Just, 2 more days to go.

*****

(Le Min, myself and Ying See)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Ying See! :)

You are a great senior and a valuable friend. I will forever remember how you kept me going during my very first hike. You never left me alone, never complain, but always be there for me keeping me in your sight, making sure I am safe. You tried singing songs too, to make me less tired.
Thanks, for everything!

*hugs*. I hope you will have a great day, filled with joy and happiness!

27/12

Uh..

Its my hottest mummy and handsome daddy's 1 year anniversary.

:)

Yeah, it still make no sense that both of them are younger than me, daddy by a mere few days which makes him happy, and mummy by a year? :(

I love the both of you!

*****

On the other hand, I was feeling so heart pain, as in, yes, the last time I felt this was like 10 days ago? Sighs. For me, its still health first, then everything else.

p/s: get the hint now?

No, I am not complaining that life have not been good and etc etc; the truth is, life has been too great! :) I know exams are near and its so weird to say life is great at this moment. Hah~ I just had to because I feel so, kays?

ALL THE BEST to everyone I know that is going to sit for exam in a few more days!

xmas '08

MERRY CHRISTMAS, peeps!

I know some people are having holidays, and some are busy studying for exams. Oh well, no matter what, I hope all of you will have a memorable Christmas!
ALL THE BEST!

:)

joyce teh

Dearest, JOYCE TEH!

HAPPY 19th!

And it has been such a wonderful 11 years of friendship with someone like you, so happy-go-lucky and would laugh so hard with me! Oh, there were the silly watching drama days and cry together too! :)
I know you will have a great day, with or without me. I will compensate, arite? xoxo.

2s'

This is my 120th post. :)

Its the 22nd of December that I shall remember.

How things can be associated with 2.

:)

tertanya

cuaca yang tersenyum,

hati yang terlindung,

seperti matahari yang tidak kelihatan,

apakah hari ini akan seperti esok?

berkekalan?

kuberusaha mencari sumber haba,

gagal,

kuberusaha mencari sumber angin,

bagi meniup perasaan ke arah lain,

hilang dari pandangan,

gagal,

apakah esok akan seperti hari ini?

daun masih hijau,

langit masih biru,

segalanya masih kekal,

tertanya.

IMU Infinity Milers

emotional

That was what attracted most of us.
That was what they first shown us.
That was how, at the end of the day, we signed up.
And, that was how, the bonding and unity came about.

I cannot say in word or describe my feelings right now. I went into Miler's blog, saw Justin's latest post about last training session on the 17th, then I don't know why, I scrolled down and saw that video. Excitedly, I loaded it, and watched it. At the moment they started singing the Miler's song, my heart felt it. I remember how I felt when I first saw it, I remember when I first sang that song, what Ray Mun told me about that song and how things is going to change after this. Emotionally, I teared silently, it just kept flowing and I kept wiping it away. I tried very hard to be a strong girl, knowing, its not the end but another beginning of everything, but my heart just resisted what I was thinking. I am not that strong girl everyone thought I am, and I am sorry for disappointing you people.

I too, cannot imagine how my last training session with the current committee will be like. I have thought of not attending the training, because if I don't, then I will not ever have the 'last training'. Or, I was thinking of just going through the running and all, but not attending the de-briefing session, as it will obviously be one of the most emotional sessions that I can see. I know, deep down my heart, all this won't work, I will go, for the last training session with them, savouring every moment using all the 5 senses we were exposed to. I will forever, remember it, everything about it.

What does a dark sky tell you?
For me, it signifies heaviness of the cloud. It had to let go the heaviness because it no longer can withstand the weight. Thus, raining soon will take place.

What does a heavy heart tells you, when you are sad?
For me, it tells me, its time to cry. Let it go.

From this and after a conversation with uncle, I learnt to never bond with the patients in future, as in, never have a strong bond but have empathy for them. Or, I will definitely feel how I felt at this very moment, crying for over 30 minutes. I just have to be a little more selfless, pass the way I feel, what I have gone through and how I went through experience to my juniors next time.

For now, I have another assignment for the bigger picture. Bye!

2 more, and that's it. :(

Just when we all got closer,
Just when its already towards the end of the year,
Just when its all about to end,
and we are left we 2 more exciting and looking-forward-to trainings,
Just when everytime I think about it,
It'll somehow make me stop and stare at the clock,
Hoping it would stop at that moment,
For every great things that are happening currently to stay,
and for every single disappointing events that happened to be washed away.

This is when, we are all becoming a whole big happy cool family.

To Infinity and Beyond! :)

Mizuno Wave Run, 2008.

5th Dec

It was 5th December, and I know its near, very near already. Try counting down and you will know. I shall move to find my second home and make it my second home.

I have never done that, but wonderfully at the end of the day, I enjoyed, and I am satisfied with what I brought home with me last night. It was a long day, staying awake from 5am to 12am was something I haven't tried before this. But, the time tick-tock-tick-tock, just flew by. :( Oh, and its also today that I had dinner at William's, a place where its like a mamak but with all kinds of food (you name it, and you get it concept) and its crowded, most importantly, the food is delicious! :)

Oh gosh, when I thought I had quite a good day and was hoping it will end with a smile just before I sleep, it turned out to be a emo one. I accidentally deleted ALL my inbox messages! :( :( For those who know me well, you know how sad I can be if that happens, and duh, for circumstances like, need to reformat phone which leave me with no choice only will make me let go messages. Urgh, that's how stupid I can be. Arrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhh....

I shall try to get over it. Gawd, I still feel the lost.

:)

Once, my new-found uncle to be, given the all kinds of nickname by me, now ended up calling him uncle told me, if there's something he has learnt throughout the last year or so, is that we really got to balance things out. Show our parents that we are willing to work hard in studies and in training, and we shall have blessings for everything that we want to do.

I still remember once when I was feeling bitter about myself, neglecting certain things in my life. Knowing, there is no way I can keep things like how I want it to be, no matter how much I try, I will still have to give up something. I cannot have everything that I want, no?

I guess; everyday, every minute, as I am getting older, I am missing something, something I cannot tell what it is. I learn to appreciate the chances I have, do what I want most and being more positive about life.

Sometimes, having more cells that are curious to know things in me brought things around me looking more interesting. This made me became Bella too, and I found 'my' Edward. 'my' Edward's look is of course not like the Robert Pattinson larh, but I am not a superficial person, so, yeaps, its okay. This is a top secret. :) Its so good that, I can sort of 'read' him, but *evil grins*, he cannot 'read' me.

For now, I gotta go because I am the uncle's niece now, and more responsibility to hold.

Byes!

And, I got a super sweet and thoughtful small gift called the 'Ralph Lauren Black Patrick' today from Edward. Thanks! :) :)

Everyone made my day! 1/12/08