if i say

if i say i am happy, i may be lying.

if i say i am happy, i may not be lying.

i need to find the See Wei back, who does things only because she wants to do it, and no influence.

anonymous

We convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married, have a baby, then another.

Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older.

Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.

We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire.

The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.
If not, then when?
Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. Real life.
But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.
I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.

That point of view helped me see that there isn’t any road to happiness.
Happiness IS the road.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination.

There is no better time to be happy than… NOW!
Live and enjoy the moment.

-Author unknown

Well, I read this from Ken Hon's blog. I think everyone should read it.

Have a great day ahead everyone!

believe - 22/5

but i am not letting go, i believe there is still much to believe in.

you know the feeling of.. someone is just always there for you no matter what?
whether the tree falls and obstruct your way, whether the storm is here, whether that person is having a bad day..
they are still there for you?
i know how it feels and i am grateful. :)

i have my boyfriend and very very supportive friends; the old ones and the a few months old friends. they would call to check on me making sure that i am okay and remind me to search for my old self back.

i know, i need the confidence i once had, and the die-die attitude.

to levin, yes i owe you for that, in 1.5 months.

now, i can run and do anything i want! :)
but i have made a deal with the boyfriend, its the death sentence, no way of me turning back. :(
but me like it! :)

this is what you call paradox.

when i know you are always there for me, i am always there for you too.

where the rainbows end

i stalked an old friend of mine's blog! *random*

i have to admit, sometimes once things are uttered, there is no way you can take your words back, no matter how much that person loves you. he is hurt, hurt by what you have said.

i know all of us love being spoilt, i have to admit i love being spoilt too.

guess, it was just like the book I am reading now 'Where the Rainbows end' where the cardiologist realises his marriage is already after the honeymoon period and that he and his wife are no longer attracted to one another. who says a doctor must marry a doctor? both wouldn't have time for each other, just like what it is written on the book. When he actually gets to go home and sleep after a day's on-call, the wife needs to leave home for her shift. :(

Somehow, I just felt like saying, we should appreciate things around us and never expect much.

The higher the expectation, the higher the disappointment..

*****

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Angel! :)

15th May

once in a while, eventhough you are standing or walking in a crowd, you might still feel..

lonely.

it makes me wonder why sometimes.

its been a long time i didn't go out with my silly friends, Yen Yee and Kelsey. So, we went out to Jeth's Cafe yesterday night to have a drink, and then the mischievous us took jenga to play. Its not fun if there is no proper drink to accompany us, thus lead us to ordering a bottle of Heineken.

i am not a play-game-person! sure drink one!

ho-ho, I was the first to make the jenga fall. I am not as bad as Kelsey because she made it fell twice! :p And, Yen Yee is the pro!

then we were so random, Yen Yee suggested we should drive to the graveyard to just have a look, which scares Kels and I. Then, I suggested we should go to the general hospital to hang out, look at any handsome doctor on call at 12am! Kels thinks that Yen Yee and I were crazy. Lol.

No life, I call this. No where to go, I call this. But, its fun! I haven't been laughing so much I tell you, every minute there is something funny.

Tomorrow, 15km! Yes, we will just all do it. All you have to do is run and compete against yourself, not others. Beat the time you set for yourself, and be happy about it. As for me, I will run at my own pace, trying to finish the race for myself.

I will never do something for someone else because that motivational drive won't bring me far.
I am doing it for myself.
This is passion, this is my drive, my call.

Run well to all participants! :)

why?

after the exams, the target is to lose some weights which i have gained in a month.

preparations for the exam was crazy. thus, lead to eating almost every 2 hours!
exam papers were crazy too, leading to more eating now.

well, after 4 weeks of not running, i went for training yesterday. the smart me went without having lunch and my breakfast was a cup of mocha ice blended. this brought me to hypoglycemia during training. i learnt my lesson to at least eat something before training, this is not fun. not even reaching 1 km, i felt like throwing up and my head was dizzy.

but i have a 15km run this Sunday!

so, running at my own pace, slowly.. like a tortoise, together with my comrades.

this is not fun. i don't know how i am going to run through the whole 15km this Sunday. I hope there is no hill-ly up and down!

maybe I have lost my drive, my motivational drive to run. I tried searching it back, but I failed.

why am I making myself so upset and disappointed nowadays? why am I not doing any good?

why?

its over for now

i guess.. its time for me to pray harder now.

i really don't want to feel so pessimistic, which is going to be necrotism soon.

:(

how to enjoy life when i am worried? :(

life is sad and complicated.

oh, and can someone teach me how to turn over someone who is ego to be less ego?

its star trek at 920pm later!

i am sleepyyyy... due to too much information drainage. somehow, i am surprised at myself, wondering how did i even survived my SPM, which has 11 subjects and for sure more than a weeks' exam?

amazed.

i miss my best friend.

something/everything

i only know something, but not everything!

so, yes.. i am praying for the best.

please do not torture me.

*prays prays*

no matter what, i will try my best.

to all my batchmates, ALL THE BEST!