15th May

once in a while, eventhough you are standing or walking in a crowd, you might still feel..

lonely.

it makes me wonder why sometimes.

its been a long time i didn't go out with my silly friends, Yen Yee and Kelsey. So, we went out to Jeth's Cafe yesterday night to have a drink, and then the mischievous us took jenga to play. Its not fun if there is no proper drink to accompany us, thus lead us to ordering a bottle of Heineken.

i am not a play-game-person! sure drink one!

ho-ho, I was the first to make the jenga fall. I am not as bad as Kelsey because she made it fell twice! :p And, Yen Yee is the pro!

then we were so random, Yen Yee suggested we should drive to the graveyard to just have a look, which scares Kels and I. Then, I suggested we should go to the general hospital to hang out, look at any handsome doctor on call at 12am! Kels thinks that Yen Yee and I were crazy. Lol.

No life, I call this. No where to go, I call this. But, its fun! I haven't been laughing so much I tell you, every minute there is something funny.

Tomorrow, 15km! Yes, we will just all do it. All you have to do is run and compete against yourself, not others. Beat the time you set for yourself, and be happy about it. As for me, I will run at my own pace, trying to finish the race for myself.

I will never do something for someone else because that motivational drive won't bring me far.
I am doing it for myself.
This is passion, this is my drive, my call.

Run well to all participants! :)

why?

after the exams, the target is to lose some weights which i have gained in a month.

preparations for the exam was crazy. thus, lead to eating almost every 2 hours!
exam papers were crazy too, leading to more eating now.

well, after 4 weeks of not running, i went for training yesterday. the smart me went without having lunch and my breakfast was a cup of mocha ice blended. this brought me to hypoglycemia during training. i learnt my lesson to at least eat something before training, this is not fun. not even reaching 1 km, i felt like throwing up and my head was dizzy.

but i have a 15km run this Sunday!

so, running at my own pace, slowly.. like a tortoise, together with my comrades.

this is not fun. i don't know how i am going to run through the whole 15km this Sunday. I hope there is no hill-ly up and down!

maybe I have lost my drive, my motivational drive to run. I tried searching it back, but I failed.

why am I making myself so upset and disappointed nowadays? why am I not doing any good?

why?

its over for now

i guess.. its time for me to pray harder now.

i really don't want to feel so pessimistic, which is going to be necrotism soon.

:(

how to enjoy life when i am worried? :(

life is sad and complicated.

oh, and can someone teach me how to turn over someone who is ego to be less ego?

its star trek at 920pm later!

i am sleepyyyy... due to too much information drainage. somehow, i am surprised at myself, wondering how did i even survived my SPM, which has 11 subjects and for sure more than a weeks' exam?

amazed.

i miss my best friend.

something/everything

i only know something, but not everything!

so, yes.. i am praying for the best.

please do not torture me.

*prays prays*

no matter what, i will try my best.

to all my batchmates, ALL THE BEST!

what is limit?

"push the human limit to the maximum", that was what i have been told.

the human limit is not just what you thought you can do. its more than that. take running for an example, you sign up for a 12km race, when you have never ran for at least half of it, 6km. i am sure, you will have doubt, to whether you can finish the race or not. but once you have started running the 1st km, you will soon run the second, third... 10th km, and the last 2km.

you ended the race in the qualifying time.

the night before the race, you were worried, as to whether you will give up half way and call the ambulance or to get the finisher's medal. but now!

you should be proud of yourself. you have MADE IT!

the first race, 12km.

more to come, from 5km to 10km to 15km... and 21.1km in June.

if i don't push myself to the limit, i will never know what i can achieve. same goes to everyone that reads this. try running a 2.2km for the first time, you will know. you may just think, its just 2.2km.

"never underestimate anything, including the distance of the route." i have been told.

true story

have you ever wonder why people always leave?

well, just this morning, i read a letter, written by K to C; you can count that as a confession letter and also the giving up letter.

i have never seen someone being able to love and sacrifice for another person like this guy. he put in all his heart to make her feel happy, be with her when she's upset. but what did he get at the end of the day?

disappointment.

therefore, he decided that it is time to stop loving her.

because it is not worth.

how long would you wait for someone and still love her/him?

ask me, and i will tell you - DON'T wait, for all you might know, you are missing out something even better just because you are hanging onto something that you are unsure about.

when people stop loving you, they leave you.
but some, they stop loving you, but they are still there with you.

p/s: i am not talking about my life story here. just an experience on what i read. :(

so touching.

my angel

maybe its been a long time since i last saw a real adorable baby who will make my heart melt.

and, she's a baby girl i saw today. :) she's a malay baby girl, but i silently gave her a name, Angel.

i almost kidnapped her.

or, should i say, i want a baby too?

hahah.. at 20!

it felt so good when you put one of your fingers in her hand, and she would grab it.

then, open her little small eyes

trying to smile..

then yawn.

was worried when she wanted to cry so many times..

but i don't think i mind holding her if i was capable of.

she's a neonate! just came to this world yesterday. :)

awwww..

i will miss her, my angel with yik hin as my buddy for loving this baby!