miss phrase

you know, when I said 'but i am not letting go, i believe there is still much to believe in'.

I really meant it.

I should keep that phrase deep deep in my heart and make it my favourite phrase. :)

Yes, I love you miss phrase!

I heard this on tv on Friday and today, when I was watching the repeat of the drama. It says,

we always chase after what we want and dream of,
after getting what we want, we will be afraid of losing it.
but when the fear of losing it accumulates, we will be losing more.

its for your thought. true, no?

New Balance Klang Pacers 1/2 Marathon (7/6/09)

i did it! i made it!

okay, i ran and jogged like a snail all the way! something to be proud of - i did not walk at all because i know once i walk, i will not jog all the way anymore. i couldn't feel my leg at the last 5km!

it was the half marathon- 21km!

i am happy! :)

the boyfriend accompanied me ran the last 200m to the finishing! :)

i am happier!

i have altogether 3 blisters, I think. :( The knee caps felt like it is going to drop out! I cannot feel the joint properly joined. What more, the pain which is medial to my foot which started to pain after 2km and now reached the ankle. Practically, I am not going to walk so much for a few days!

oh, pain! :(
i am happy still because i am satisfied with it.

thank you Ying See for accompanying me through out the run, it made the run more relaxing and fun! :)

It wasn't easy, but it paid off. its always 'just a bit more to go.'

the pain

its time for the disease to attack. its back, the insomnia.

every time i run, there is a pain which i cannot describe on my left foot. slowly, it pulls the ankle to pain along too.

why can't I endure the pain? why can't I distract myself from it? why is my body treating it like a foreign feeling, which must be diminished?

WHY??

i am afraid, not only the laziness that make me run less; the spirit that I once had for running has gone; the feeling for me to complete the half marathon without giving up halfway is fading; the cause of the pain which is never cured ever since is troubling.

i don't want to disappoint myself. maybe I shouldn't have signed up in the first place- being peer pressured. I don't want to disappoint those whom got pressured from me and then followed me unwillingly signed up for this, and the one whom encouraged me all the way to never give up (not even if my foot got to be amputated).

i asked myself today while running- why do I run? what is your purpose of running today?

now I ask myself, when was the last time I ran because I love running? honestly, its been a long time. maybe a few months.

Mei Jiun, the Ipod you bought for my birthday was helpful today, it made me ran although it is just that small distance. I remember how I used to tell you about running and sports, about the club that I am in... and made you came into conclusion and be happy for me that I have found what I like, and bought me the red Ipod. :)

What if?

if i say

if i say i am happy, i may be lying.

if i say i am happy, i may not be lying.

i need to find the See Wei back, who does things only because she wants to do it, and no influence.

anonymous

We convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married, have a baby, then another.

Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older.

Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.

We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire.

The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.
If not, then when?
Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. Real life.
But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.
I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.

That point of view helped me see that there isn’t any road to happiness.
Happiness IS the road.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination.

There is no better time to be happy than… NOW!
Live and enjoy the moment.

-Author unknown

Well, I read this from Ken Hon's blog. I think everyone should read it.

Have a great day ahead everyone!

believe - 22/5

but i am not letting go, i believe there is still much to believe in.

you know the feeling of.. someone is just always there for you no matter what?
whether the tree falls and obstruct your way, whether the storm is here, whether that person is having a bad day..
they are still there for you?
i know how it feels and i am grateful. :)

i have my boyfriend and very very supportive friends; the old ones and the a few months old friends. they would call to check on me making sure that i am okay and remind me to search for my old self back.

i know, i need the confidence i once had, and the die-die attitude.

to levin, yes i owe you for that, in 1.5 months.

now, i can run and do anything i want! :)
but i have made a deal with the boyfriend, its the death sentence, no way of me turning back. :(
but me like it! :)

this is what you call paradox.

when i know you are always there for me, i am always there for you too.

where the rainbows end

i stalked an old friend of mine's blog! *random*

i have to admit, sometimes once things are uttered, there is no way you can take your words back, no matter how much that person loves you. he is hurt, hurt by what you have said.

i know all of us love being spoilt, i have to admit i love being spoilt too.

guess, it was just like the book I am reading now 'Where the Rainbows end' where the cardiologist realises his marriage is already after the honeymoon period and that he and his wife are no longer attracted to one another. who says a doctor must marry a doctor? both wouldn't have time for each other, just like what it is written on the book. When he actually gets to go home and sleep after a day's on-call, the wife needs to leave home for her shift. :(

Somehow, I just felt like saying, we should appreciate things around us and never expect much.

The higher the expectation, the higher the disappointment..

*****

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Angel! :)