sighs.

How true can the idiom be? The one that says 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'?

Oh well, I personally think that, the idiom is true in certain situations. The distance between my best friend, MJiun and I is around 4108 miles and seriously, it makes our friendship bond stronger each and everyday. Every time when she comes back which is once in a year, we will hang out a lot to talk about the things we went through without each other while watching dvd then spending time to reminisce the times we had for a decade.

Yet, there's this saying 'so near yet so far'.

I think after today, I kind of got the meaning too. I felt it. Not because I am nervous or stress or anticipating to the events this week, I am just.. feeling.. helpless about something. I would have ran to MJiun if she's here, with me. I know, she's always a call away, but its just different. I wanted her comfort. She is my comfort zone.

I am a weird person, or you can call me, don't know how to appreciate things girl. No, not that I don't appreciate what people do for me, I meant.. I don't know how to appreciate chances that I get. And, this happened not only once, but always. Then, I will get myself into dilemma and having the 'heavy-heart' feeling and eventually my cheeks will be wet. I don't understand myself, before getting permission for something that I want to do badly, I will go all out to get that permission. But after getting it, I will start to think whether I should or I shouldn't.

I hate myself for being such a full of doubt girl. I hate regretting!